My Breakdown
by hockey4eva27
Summary: JD is breaking down and although his friends/co-workers can see it now one can see just how bad it really is and no one understands why. I know this is a crappy summary but I don't want to give things away...
1. My Patient

**Authors Note:** This takes place as if JD never met Kim and Elliot broke off the wedding with Keith. Some people are going to assume that this means JD and Elliot will get together which I have not decided yet but the truth is I never really cared for Kim or Keith's characters. Also, JD still lives with Carla and Turk(and Izzy) but in a bigger apartment. Just a warning this is going to have a little more drama than usual for Scrubs but I am going to try my best to work in as much "Scrubs Humor" as I can! All reviews /- are greatly appreciated. If I don't get any, or lots of negative I will know not to continue with the story... Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own scrubs, or any characters, etc, etc, etc!

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**01.01 My Patient I Can't Handle**

"Oh, hey Bambi what are you doing up? Did Izzy wake you?" Carla asked nervously as she walked out to the fridge to get Izzy a bottle only to find J.D sitting on the couch staring at a blank TV screen. JD just continued staring at the screen like he hadn't even noticed Carla was there. As she walked back from the fridge she stopped directly in front of JD. "Bambi?"

"Huh?"

"You feeling okay? You look a little pale..."

"Huh?" He asked again.

Carla sat down next to him, "What's going on Bambi?"

JD shook his head, "Nothing... Just thinking..."

"About?" Carla asked curiously.

"A patient... A little boy that came in today..."

Izzy started crying loudly, "Carla? Where's that bottle?" Turk groaned from the bedroom.

"Coming baby!" Carla stood up, "Let me take this into Turk and then I will be back and we can talk about that patient."

JD stood up as Carla started toward the bedroom, "That's okay, I have an early shift in the morning... I should get some sleep."

"Are you sure?"

JD nodded.

"Good night Bambi."

He managed a half smile, "Night..."

--

"Well good morning Anastasia! Nice of you to finally show up to work."

"Sorry Dr. Cox... My alarm did not go off this morning. I got here as fast as I could." JD replied so tiredly he nearly collapsed just from speaking.

"Please sir, don't send me to the principals office, I promise I won't pass notes in class anymore."

"What was that?" JD asked annoyed.

"I was mocking your school girl answer newbie... Nevermind... Your 5 year old, Johnny, coded last night."

JD's heart sank as he turned green.

"They brought him back, but he's in a coma." Dr. Cox handed him his chart. "Here are some more to get your day started." He handed him a few more.

"Thanks..." JD said sarcastically as he walked away.

--

JD stood outside little Johnny's room reading over the chart Dr. Cox had just handed him.

_Pull yourself together JD. You can do this. You are a grown man. You can't let your life interfere with your work and you can't let your work interfere with your life. They are two separate things..._

Just as he reached for the door handle he saw Elliot walking down the hall her arms full of charts, right before she made it to him she slipped on a pen in the middle of the hall and her charts went flying through the air. Regardless of how JD was feeling he could not help but laugh out loud.

"Frick!" Elliot yelled as she started picking up her charts.

JD bent down and started helping her pick up the remaining charts that littered the floor. "Have a lot of patients today?"

"She nodded. I was off hours ago but I have so many patients I can't seem to catch up."

"I'll help." JD offered, knowing this would pay off for him. "You take one of my patients and I will take all of yours you have left."

"What's the catch?" Elliot asked suspiciously.

"No catch. I just want to help." JD said trying to sound convincing.

"Are you sure there is no cat-" The top 2 charts in Elliot's pile fell to the floor. "FRICK!"

JD stood in front of her smiling holding up little Johnny's chart when Elliot stood back up balancing her charts. She quickly snatched the chart out of his hand, "Deal!"

--

"Vanilla Bear, what the hell?" Turk walked over to JD who was sitting at a single table in the corner of the cafeteria. "How are we supposed to sit with you if you are sitting over here?"

JD shrugged and stood up walking over the table Carla, Elliot, Perry and Jordan were sitting at. JD was sitting there pushing his food around his plate when he realized the table had grown quiet and he looked up to see everyone was starting at him.

"Henrietta, to what do we owe this pleasure? Your not talking I mean." Dr. Cox smiled.

"Oh, I was just listening to you guys talk. I mean, it was so fascinating."

"So tell me Newbie, what did you find so _fascinating _about our conversation?"

"T-the ending." JD looked down.

Dr. Cox laughed and continued to laugh as he stood up and took his tray to the garbage.

JD felt his face turn red. _Why am I blushing? I don't get embarrassed. Dr. Cox says things like that all the time and it doesn't bother me. Why now?_

"Bambi? You coming?"

JD looked up and saw that Carla, Turk and Elliot were all standing waiting for him to join them.

"Um... I just need a few minutes. I will catch up with you guys later."

"Are you alright V Bear?" Turk asked genuinely concerned.

"I'm not going to be alright if people keep asking that! Can't a guy get a little tired once in awhile?" JD immediately regretted snapping at Turk.

"Sorry buddy... See ya later."

Just as JD was actually going to eat some of his lunch he looked over and realized that Jordan was still sitting next to him. Not just sitting next to him, it seemed as though she was studying him.

"Can I help you?" JD asked feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Are you okay kid?"

He nodded.

"Are you sure?"

"Guess you missed my whole, 'I'm not going to be alright if people keep asking that! Can't a guy get a little tired once in awhile?' speech." JD snapped worse than he did at Turk.

She didn't say anything as she stood up, leaving him like the others.

"Jordan!" JD called out to her. When she didn't turn around he continued anyways, "I'm sorry! I'm just tired."

_Why should I have to apologize to her? She doesn't have feelings anyways. I shouldn't have to apologize to anyone... Anyone except maybe Johnny... I shouldn't have abandoned him... What are you talking about JD, you didn't abandon him. You just couldn't handle taking care of him! COWARD!_


	2. My Fake Flu

**Authors Note**: I haven't read many Scrubs fanfics(but would like to eventually, but don't want to be influenced by others fics) mainly because when I went to the sites they were all JD/Perry pairings and that just did not appeal to me(don't take that as me saying those fics are bad because I am sure they are not, it just doesn't keep MY interest, like this fic won't keep others interest)... BUT I have heard there are many out there where JD gets cancer/brain tumors and I am afraid that after this chapter people are going to assume that I am going down that road and I can assure you that is NOT the case. Enough rambling, enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Scrubs, characters, yada, yada, yada...

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**02.02****My Fake Flu**

"J-Dawg what on earth smells so won.der.fu.hull?" Turk asked breaking into song at the end of his sentence?

"Well C-Bear I let the nanny go early and Izzy and I prepared a 3 course meal just for you." He motioned over toward Izzy who was sitting in her highchair wearing a little apron and chewing on a spatula. "On the menu tonight at Chez Izzy et J.D. we have round one, a garden salad with all your favorite gas inducing raw veggies."

Carla bent over next to Izzy, "Oh hunny, what did mommy ever do to you?"

Turk and JD both laughed.

"Round two, baby back ribs for Izzy and big daddy ribs for us." He high fived Turk and turned to Carla. "Don't worry Carla, I know you are watching your figure so I made some hot mama ribs for you!"

Carla rolled her eyes.

"And finally for desert..." JD started pulling something out of the oven, "Chocolate Cake!"

"Ugh! J.Deeeeeeeeee!" Turk whined, "My diabetes!"

JD smiled, "Did I forget to mention it's SUGAR FREE chocolate cake?"

Turk started jumping up and down like a child and ran over and started swinging JD around in a hug.

"Everyone dig in!"

--

"Turk, you should be happy your other wife knows how to cook..." Carla said, her mouth full of food.

"I know baby." He turned to JD. "Thanks Vanilla!"

JD blushed, "Oh stop..."

"I'm glad to see you back to your old self Bambi. You had me worried for a little while..."

"I told you I was fine..."

Izzy started to get fussy, "Turk why don't you take Izzy over to the TV and let her watch The Wiggles while we finish up here."

"But baby... my ribs will get cold..."

"Turk!" Carla said in her 'I'm not kidding around' tone.

Turk realized he had no choice and took Izzy over and started looking for the DVD.

"So, JD, tell me about that patient you were thinking about in the middle of the night..."

"What patient?" JD played dumb, not wanting to think about him...

"JD, how can you forget about someone that had the ability to keep you awake?"

"What?" JD started feeling very nauseous. A familiar feeling but one that he hadn't felt for a long time.

"Bambi?"

"I'm going to be sick!" JD said quickly as he ran to his bathroom nearly tripping over Turk and Izzy.

When JD hadn't come out after 30 minutes Carla decided she better go make sure he was okay.

"JD?" She poked her head into his room to find him laying on his bed. "Bambi, are you sick?" When she got closer she realized his blood shot eyes and puffy face. "JD?" She sat down next to him and he rolled over looking away from her. "JD?" She asked again as she put her hand on his shoulder.

JD jumped, "Don't touch me!" He yelled louder than Carla had ever heard him yell which caused her to jump herself and she quickly got off the bed.

JD instantly realized what he had done and had to fight back his tears. "Carla, I am so sorry." He couldn't hold it in any longer and started to cry. "I'm not feeling well and I didn't want you to catch my germs. I don't want you to get sick..."

"Bambi are you crying?"

"I'm sick Carla... Some people shed tears at funerals, others at weddings, some when their scooters are assassinated." _Oh Sasha..._ "For me, I cry when I am sick."

"Well, if you need anything let me know okay?"

He nodded, "Thanks..."

--

"Turk? Do you think there is something going on with JD?"

"What do you mean?" Turk asked as he dove into his cake like a child on their first birthday.

"He seems down... I don't know, he just doesn't seem like himself."

"Nah... JD's fine. Would a man that was not fine be able to make a cake like this? I. Don't. Think. So."

She nodded, "Maybe you guys should do something together. Take him to the gym or something, after that chocolate cake you are going to need it!"

"Baby!"

"Baby fat!" Carla said laughing.

"I thought you liked my love handles?" Turk gave her the puppy dog face.

Carla just laughed.

--

"Newbie!" Dr. Cox started walking faster down the hallway to catch up with JD. "Gee, yesterday you were mute and today deaf. Wonderful. Now, since you are a doctor and I don't know, talking and listening seem to be two things that a doctor, or a cheerleader, which I know you are in your spare time Marissa, would need I think you should get out of your funk that you are in and start doing your job."

"What do you need Dr. Cox?"

"Dr. Cox? My we sure are mighty formal today aren't we? No Perry, or Pear, or Pear Bear. O.M.G. Nancy, could I join the Den with you and Chocolate Bear? Oh please, can I, can I, can I? We could go down to the pond and catch fish together and scratch our backs on trees!" Dr. Cox started rubbing his back on the wall and singing, "I've got the bear necessities, the simple-"

"Dr. Cox!" JD said, rather annoyed.

"Well then, didn't realize it was THAT time of the month newbie, sorry..."

JD Rolled his eyes.

"I wanted to ask you how little Johnny was doing?"

"I don't know..." JD said quietly.

"Have you been in the lounge watching your stories all morning or what?"

"I gave him to Elliot..."

"And why would you give your patient to Barbie who has a hard enough time managing the few patients she has of her own?"

"I took all of her patients, she took him."

"And why would you do that?"

"She was running behind and wanted to go home, I had just started my shift, I wanted to help a friend out."

Dr. Cox folded his arms across his chest, "You couldn't handle your patient could you? Is that what this whole mopeyness is about?"

"That's not true."

"You couldn't handle Johnny... Johnny couldn't handle Johnny!"

"Dr. Cox..." JD felt the same nauseous feeling from the night before but this time he knew he was too far from a restroom to make it, he doubled over right there and vomited.

"Ugh..." Dr. Cox moaned. "That was really great Mary... just wonderful."

--

JD sat down with Jordan, Elliot and Carla in the cafeteria.

"Where my home boys at?" JD laughed uncomfortably.

"One of Perry's patients crashed, Turk has him in surgery." Elliot replied.

Jordan smiled at JD, "So DJ, how much do I owe you?"

"Um, what?" JD asked confused.

"I hear you threw up on Perry this morning and that my friend, deserves a reward."

"Bambi, you were sick again? You should really see a doctor."

"Um, I am a doctor Carla. I am fine, just a little bug is all..."

"Bambi, let Elliot check you out. For me? Please?"

_Why does Carla have to be so motherly? Why can't she be emotionally unavailable like Jordan or so caught up in her own life that she doesn't even notice anything is wrong like Elliot? I have to do this for her, afterall, what's the worst that can happen, I know there is nothing wrong with me._

"Fine..." JD moaned.

"Thanks Bambi!" Carla smiled.

--

"So how long have you been sick?" Elliot asked as she took out a thermometer.

"A day... I'm fine really. You don't actually have to do the exam, just tell Carla I am ok."

Elliot shook her head, "Open up..."

BEEP

"Well that's normal..." She put the thermometer back and took out her stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. "Take your shirt off."

"Aren't you going to buy me dinner first?" JD smiled.

Elliot smiled back, "Come on JD."

"My shirt is thin, you can do everything right through it."

"JD, a good doctor does things the right way now stop being suck a baby and take off your shirt."

"Fine..."

"Well your heart sounds good." She reached for his arm, "Now let's get your blood-" She looked down at his arm as she put the blood pressure cuff on it. "What happened to your wrist?"

"What?" He asked nervously.

"Where did you get that bruise?"

"Oh!" JD said looking down at his wrist himself, "Turk and I were playing fetch with Rowdy and we realized he was too tired to play when he just sat there, staring at the stick so we started playing with each other and as I was running Rowdy cut me off and I fell."

_Oh my goodness, that is the WORST lie I have ever come up with. Elliot will never believe that Rowdy cut me off, I said he was tired, what did he get some sudden burst of doggie adrenaline! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!_

"That's a big bruise..."

"It doesn't even hurt! Look..." JD poked it...

_HOLY FIRE TRUCK! Oh yea, I forgot to tell Turk that joke. Note to self, tell Turk the fire truck joke..._

"Ok... well, you are right, you're fine, it's just a bug. But, that doesn't mean you shouldn't get some rest, and you should put some ice on that arm."

"Thanks Doc."

She smiled, "No problem."


	3. My Boys Night

**Authors Note**: I hope everyone has realized the _italic_ writing is JD's thoughts... Not really happy with this chapter, hope everyone else is!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Scrubs, characters, yada, yada, yada...

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.3 My Boys Night**

"Hey Vanilla!" Turk, Perry, Carla, and Elliot were all standing at the Nurse's Station.

"Hey Brown Bear..."

Carla elbowed Turk. "JD... Perry and I need another player for our Thursday night 3 on 3 basketball game at the "Y", you interested?"

_Oh my, hold back the tears... Basketball? Me? Stay calm, play it cool..._

"Um sure, I think I could work it into my schedule."

Perry rolled his eyes and walked away. Carla smiled.

_It was then that I realized this was my opportunity to pull myself out of this, get myself back on track._

Singing to himself Boys night, higher Boys night!

--

When Turk and JD came into the gym together Perry let out a loud and obvious moan.

"I was hoping you would be home tossing your chocolate chips, oatmeals, peanut butters, oreos, which I am sure you only eat the center out of so you can keep your girlish figure..."

_He knows me so well..._

"I'm fine Perry, thanks for the concern. Now lets get to hooping!"

"Hooping?" Perry asked, regretting agreeing to this night.

"Ok..." Turk threw Perry the ball. "Our opponents are here!"

Ted, Doug, and the Todd all walked in.

"Oh for the love of God!" Dr. Cox put his hands over his face. "Ghandi, you couldn't just I don't know, thrown me in front of a bus?"

Turk laughed, "Let's play!"

The game turned into more of a 2 on 1. Turk and Perry against the Todd.

"I'm open!" JD said jumping up and down. "Over here!"

Perry looked and him and shook his head and passed the ball to Turk. Turk felt bad and threw it to JD who immediately had the ball knocked out of his hands by the Todd and JD yelled out in pain. He fell to the floor holding his wrist.

"What's the matter Ginger? Break a nail?" Perry asked as he stood over JD. JD rolled on the floor in pain and Perry extended a hand to help him up. "Let me see Newbie..."

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine." JD said walking over toward a bench on the other side of the gym. "You guys keep playing, I will be the umpire."

"The umpire?" Perry asked, trying not to break out into laughter as he looked over at Turk. "Ghandi, why don't you take your girlfriend home, tuck her into bed, get her a warm glass of milk and her teddy bear and have her sleep it off." He picked up his bag, "This was loads of fun, let's do it again, well, never..."

_So much for pulling myself out of this._

--

"Bambi, are you sure Izzy isn't waking you up at night?" Carla asked when she came out of the bedroom to find JD in the same spot on the couch she had the other night.

He shook his head, "I just couldn't sleep..."

Carla stopped walking toward the kitchen and sat down next to JD on the couch, "What happened to your wrist?" she asked pointing to the ice pack he was holding on it.

"Oh it's nothing, just a little sore..."

Carla held out her hand, "Can I see?"

"Really Carla, it's nothing..."

"Oh come on Bambi, I'm not going to hurt you..."

JD put his hand in hers and she rolled up his sleeve to look.

"JD! Did you do this playing basketball?"

"Carla!" He pulled his hand back, "It looks much worse than it feels, please don't worry."

"Can you bend it?"

"Like Beckham baby!"

_I have been saving that one forever, I knew someone would ask me that question some day! Oh Parminder Nagra how I love thee!_

"Bambi! I am serious!"

"I can bend it Carla."

"Show me."

JD looked up at the clock, "4am already? I am on at 5! I gotta go take a shower! Catch ya in a few hours!"

_Hour, shower... Shower, hour... Rhyming is fun!_

--

"Newbie, great to see you didn't go into shock from your severe nail tear last night."

"Oh Pear..." JD smiled. "I saw a rainbow on my way to work this morning, it's going to be a great day and you or anyone else cannot bring me down."

"Ok sun, sun, Mrs. Golden sun, please shine down the hall and take care of some patients before well I lose MY patience."

"Catch ya later Pear!"

"Not if I can help it!"

--

JD did his best to avoid Carla all morning and even went to lunch early to try and make it the whole day.

"JD! Over here!" Turk yelled from the table he was sitting at with Carla, Elliot, Perry, and Jordan.

_Are they psychic?_ _How cool would that be? We could be on a talk show!_

"What are you guys doing here so early?"

"Dr. Cox told us you asked to take an early lunch and things were slow so we figured we would keep you company."

Perry grinned at him from the other side of the table.

"Bambi, how is your wrist doing?" Carla asked, truly concerned.

_FIRE TRUCK_

"Turk, I have joke for you." JD said, trying anything to ignore Carla. "What starts with 'F' and ends with uck?"

"JD?" Elliot said, somewhat surprised.

"Fire Truck! Get it? You thought I was going to say something else didn't you. I know you did..."

"Ugh." Dr. Cox moaned.

JD stood up, "I just remembered, Mr. Martin needed his meds 10 minutes ago! Be back faster than you can say meca-leca-high-meca-hiney-ho!"

"Fire truck..." Jordan laughed to herself.

"Good God woman, you are not laughing at Newbie's stupid little joke!" Dr. Cox stared at her.

"So how did JD get hurt last night?" Carla asked.

"Get hurt?" Dr. Cox laughed. "Kendra got the ball knocked out of her hands and rolled on the floor like a man who got hit in the safe deposit box!"

"I think it's worse than he is letting on, it's all discolored and there is a large bump on the bone."

"Please Carla... He's fine..." Turk said between chewing.

"I think he needs an x-ray."

"Well Mrs. Ghandi, take him down yourself and have an x-ray done."

Carla nodded, "I will..."


	4. My XRay

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Scrubs, characters, yada, yada, yada...

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.4 My X-Ray**

"Turk!" Carla slapped his hand. "Don't take JD's sandwich!"

"But baby?" He whined. "He's been gone for like, ever."

Carla looked at her watch, "It's been a half hour, he probably got held up with Mr. Martin... He will talk for hours if you let him."

Turk pouted like a child and put the sandwich back on JD's tray.

Turk waited patiently for JD to return and after 30 more minutes and the end of their lunch arrived Carla gave in.

"Fine!"

--

"JD?" Carla asked as she entered Mr. Martin's room.

"Mr. Martin, how long ago did Dr. Dorian leave after giving you your meds?"

"My meds?" Mr. Martin asked confused. "I haven't seen Dr. Dorian all day..."

When Carla looked in the staff lounge and still didn't find JD she started looking in all the empty rooms, after several failed attempts she finally found him laying on a bed in one of the private rooms.

"Bambi?"

_What do I do? I could just tell her everything... Maybe she could help, she is one of the nicest people I know... Or she could push me away like everyone else that knows and she would probably take everyone else with her. Make a joke..._

"Hey Carla, I thought of another one... What starts with 'P' and ends with orn?"

"I don't know JD..."

"Popcorn! You thought I was going to say porn. Admit it Carla, I got you!"

Carla smiled and sat down next to him on the bed.

"Bambi, is something wrong?"

"I'm just a little tired... Mr. Martin was talking my ear off and I knew you guys would be coming soon anyways so I just decided to get a little rest."

"Can I see your arm?"

"Carla, can I tell you something?"

Carla thought he was going to have a break through, "Anything Bambi?"

"The guys kinda ride me about not being into sports like them and well... I don't want them to know that I got hurt just by getting a ball knocked out of my hands."

_That's it JD, make her feel sorry for you... I know deep down she is more of a sensie than I am!_

"Bambi... Can I please just look at it?"

"You won't make a big deal out of it?"

"No JD, I just want to look..." Carla asked as if she was pleading.

"Fine..." He rolled up his sleeve just enough to show his wrist which was much more swollen and purple than it was the night before.

"Wiggle your fingers."

"No thank you Nurse Turk..."

"You can't do it can you?"

"It's the swelling..." Carla was sure that as JD was talking her was trying to convince himself with his story more than he was trying to convince her. "Once the swelling goes down I will be able to move them, I mean, come on Carla, my fingers look like a hot dog in the microwave just before it bursts all over. Which, I forgot to apologize for you having to clean the microwave the other day. I accidently put the timer on 11 minutes instead of one. Granted, I probably should have realized after 11 minutes that something was wro-"

"Bambi..." Carla interrupted, "Will you go down and get an x-ray for me?"

"Later... I have patients and we are 20 minutes over our lunch time."

"Promise?"

_I hate lying to her..._

"Promise."

--

When JD got home he wasn't expecting to find Elliot at the apartment with Carla and Turk.

"What are you doing here?" JD asked surprised.

"I made dinner!" Elliot smiled holding up a plate of food.

"More like _ordered_ dinner." Turk laughed, "Come dig in before it get's cold sitting out on the stove, in the _Styrofoam_ containers."

JD put his backpack down on the couch and went to join his friends.

"So how was your day today little cub?" JD asked Izzy as she rubbed food all over her face laughing.

_Keep talking to the baby and Carla won't be able to ask you about the x-_

Carla interrupted his thoughts, "Bambi, did you get that x-ray?"

"Yes Mrs. Worry Wart, everything was fine."

"Good." Carla turned back to her food.

"Oh! JD..." Elliot said as she remembered something, "Little Johnny woke up today!"

JD dropped his fork, "Turk, how did that ruptured appendectomy go?"

"JD!" Elliot said in her high squeal, "I was talking to you!"

"I know, I heard you Wilbur!"

JD imagined Elliot talking to him but instead of her head she had the head of Wilbur the pig from Charloltte's Web.

"We took the breathing tube out today, he has no memory of what happened but it looks like he is going to be okay."

"Bambi, is that the little boy you were up worrying about the other night? That's great news!"

"I wasn't up worrying about anyone the other night." JD said defensively as he stood up. "Thank you for the dinner Elliot. Now if you will excuse me, I am not feeling well and am going to go lay down."

"JD?" Elliot called after him.

"Bambi?"

"Leave the man alone baby. He's different than us, he has feeeeeeelings, give him some alone time..."

--

"I'm going to go talk to JD before I leave..." Elliot said as she stood up from the table.

"You ladies are impossible!" Turk rolled his eyes.

"JD? Can I come in?" Elliot asked as she pushed open the door.

"Uh... Sure..." He called back quietly...

Elliot walked in and found him sitting on the floor at the end of his bed.

"Feeling better?" As she sat down next to him she realized his eyes were blood shot.

"I can't seem to fight this bug... I guess I need some bug-b-gone."

_That was so stupid, why did I say that?_

"JD, do you want to talk?"

"About what?"

"Anything?"

"Hmmmmmm..." He tried to act like he was thinking hard. "Not that I can think of..."

"You sure?"

He nodded.

"Wanna talk to Carla or Turk?"

"Elliot, what is this?"

"Sorry... I thought maybe something was wrong but I guess I was wrong."

"Maybe that's what was wrong..."

"What?"

"Do you remember when Dr. Cox had everyone replace the word wrong with Dorian?"

She laughed, "I do."

"Well Elliot, nothing is Dorian."

She laughed again... "See you tomorrow JD..."

"Later Elliot!"

_At the end of the day I knew it wasn't right for me to be lying to all my friends. I knew that I should just talk to them, after all, they are my friends. What is Dorian with me?_


	5. My Day Off

**Authors Note:** I don't know any Spanish at all except what little I have seen when the little one is watching Dora and Diego so I used a translation website for the Spanish in this chapter so I hope it's right!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything and I don't claim to own anything!

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.5 My Day Off With Dora**

"Bambi must be really busy today, I haven't seen him at all." Carla said as she sat down in the hospital coffee shop with Turk and Elliot.

"Scooter's not here today..." Janitor said from the next table over.

"He's not?" Turk asked.

"No... He called in sick early this morning... How is it that I always know more about him than any of you do? Oh... that's right... I read his diary." Janitor smiled.

"I wonder if his wrist was bothering him..." Carla said to no one in particular.

"I tried to get him to let me take a better look at that the other day when I was examining him but he wouldn't let me..." Elliot said shrugging her shoulders.

"I tried too... What is wrong with you men?" Carla asked turning to Turk, "Your ego's are so big you can't ask for help or take any when it's offered to you... Wait... what do you mean when you examined him?" She asked turning back to Elliot.

"The other day when you asked him to have me check him out... He said he hurt his wrist when he was playing with..." She made a 'you guys are so weird face' to Turk, "Turk and Rowdy."

"Baby? Why didn't you tell me JD got hurt when you guys were playing with that stupid dead dog..."

"Carla! That stupid dead dog has a name! And he is not stupid! And he is not dead, he is still with us... In spirit."

"Whatever, when did he get hurt?"

"He didn't..." Turk replied, puzzled. "We haven't had Rowdy out of the house lately... it's been too hot. He doesn't like the heat..."

"You guys are so weird." Elliot finally said out loud.

"So, Bambi's arm was hurt before he went to play basketball..." Carla said, thinking outloud.

"Well that makes sense..." Turk said. "No one gets hurt that bad by getting the ball knocked out of their hands, not even JD."

"Im off in an hour, I'm going to go see if Dr. Cox will let me leave early..." Carla said standing up.

"Baby... he is a grown man, he doesn't need you taking care of him all the time."

"Turk, if you were a good friend you would be worried."

"Carla, if you were a man you wouldn't be worried. He's fine..."

"Ugh!" Carla walked away.

--

Carla could hear JD singing in the apartment as she was getting her keys out...

"You can lead the way! Duh-duh-Dora. Duh-duh-Dora! Swiper no swi... Carla? What are you doing home early?"

"Where's Izzy?"

"Little brown cub's hibernating in her den."

Carla smiled, "Dora?"

"I'm trying to learn Spanish. And... that swiper just kills me..."

Carla laughed, "How are you feeling?"

"Maravilloso!"

"Muy bueno Bambi!"

"Ummm... I haven't got that far yet, I'm still on Season 1..."

Carla laughed, "Why did you call in sick?"

"I just needed to catch up on some sleep..."

"Bambi..." Carla sat down next to him and turned the TV off. "Can we talk? I mean seriously, without the joking around?"

_Oh man, here we go... It's just Carla... Breathe._

He nodded.

"JD, I talked to the radiologist on call yesterday... You never went and had an x-ray done yesterday..."

"I got busy and forgot and I remembered when I got home as soon as I saw you but I didn't want to upset you so I told you that I did have it done so you wouldn't get mad at me."

"Bambi..." Carla knew he was lying...

"Carla, my job, I need to use my hands..."

"JD, when Turk broke his arm they sent him down to work with you guys. You'll be fine... But, now that I am starting to get some hint of honesty tell me... How did you really hurt your arm?"

"What do you mean? Basketball Carla... Your approaching 40 and the alzheimers is already kicking in. Poor, poor, Carla."

"JD, you said no joking and I'm not kidding around! Elliot told me that it was already hurt when she gave you your exam the other day."

JD just looked at her. He imagined himself as Barbra Eden in I Dream Of Jeannie, he folded his arms and bowed his head, blinked, and suddenly Carla was gone. He looked down and his wrist was fine.

"JD? I am waiting for an answer..."

_Just tell her..._

"Bambi?"

_My mouth is open but nothing is coming out... I can't even say a joke, my mind is blank... I haven't felt this way for years... _

"Carla..." JD started crying... "I'm sorry..."

"Oh Bambi..." She hugged him. "Something is really bothering you."

"I'm fine Carla..."

"No JD, you're not." She started to get up.

"Carla... can you just sit here with me for a little while?"

"Sure..." She sat back down.

"Can we not tell anyone about this? Please..."

She nodded... "Yes JD, but I do think you should talk to someone..."

He just looked away from her.

"Since you weren't there today Janitor used all his pranks he had planned for you on Dr. Cox."

"Seriously?" JD's face lit up.

"He put glue on the ear pieces of his stethoscope and used scalding hot water to burn the glue off to get them out of his ears."

JD laughed out loud fantasizing about Dr. Cox's ears being burnt off left with nothing but 2 big wholes in the side of his head. He looks inside one hole and see's Turk on the other side. "Hey Brown Bear!"

"...and then there was the Rogaine in his coffee, which can't be good."

JD continued to laugh at his fantasy.

"Why don't we get everyone together and go out tonight?"

"Oh, I don't know Carla..."

"Come on Bambi, I will buy you all the Appletinis you want."

"With extra tini?"

She nodded, "With extra tini."

"All the manzana-tini I want?"

"Si!"

"Ok me-go amigo!"


	6. My Lil Confession

**Authors Note:** Not very long... Not really happy with this one...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own scrubs, characters, etc...

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.6 My Little Confession**

"Shakira! Great to see that you could manage to come out tonight since you were too busy to come in to work today and do less important things like save peoples lives."

"Perry, lay off Bambi..." Carla said with the best intentions.

"Carla! I do not need you to defend me all the time! God, you can be so annoying sometimes!"

Everyone looked at JD, then at Carla who was obviously hurt, and back to JD again who got up and went and sat at a table by himself.

Elliot motioned to Dr. Cox to go over and talk to him, Dr. Cox motioned to Turk, Turk to Elliot and then Elliot back to Dr. Cox.

"For goodness sake cowards!" Jordan stood up. "I will go talk to DJ..."

"Can I sit down DJ?"

He didn't say anything.

"Can I sit down JD?"

He nodded.

_You really give in too easily..._

"So... how's that dog of yours?"

"Rowdy? Fine..."

"Did he, you know, kick the habit yet?"

"Almost... He still uses my bed as his bitch but you would too with those sheets. It's like they were made from a cloud in heaven..."

JD smiled thinking about sleeping on a cloud.

"Right..."

"So, how is little JD?"

"She's great. It was a great idea to name her Jennifer Dillon. She threw up all over Perry this morning, just like you did the other day... Priceless!"

JD laughed nervously.

"You know DJ... JD... since I have had my children I started having these things, I don't know what they are, sometimes I smile, and sometimes I cry..."

"Emotions, feelings?" JD asked...

"Yeah! Those... and I have to say I have a feeling that there is something wrong with you and I also have a feeling that those friends of yours over there are getting rather annoyed that you won't tell them what it is."

"Well that's too bad because I am not going to tell them."

"So there is something..."

_Damn it!_

"What starts with 'P' and ends with orn?"

"Popcorn, Carla told me that one..."

JD looked at Carla, "Traitor!"

"What starts with 'T' and ends with me?"

"It's time, the word is time, it's time!" JD said excitedly.

"Yes JD, it is time, time to, and here's the correct answer, tell me."

"What starts with no and ends with thank you?" JD slammed his hand on the table and winced in pain.

"Careful there kid, you made the table angry."

JD imagined himself and the table in a boxing ring, hashing it out.

_That was strange... What did eat today?_

"Hello? Are you with me?"

"What?" JD asked snapping back to reality to see Elliot pulling up a chair next to Jordan.

"JD, I think you should apologize to Carla..." Elliot said in her usual overly chipper voice.

"I didn't mean to yell at her, I am just so tired of people asking me if I am okay and treating me like a little kid. I just want people to stop worrying."

_And that's the truth, that's all I want. If they stop worrying I don't have to tell them what is bothering me and we can all live happily ever after._

"Carla... JD has something to say to you..."

"Elliot!"

"Just tell her what you told us..."

"Carla... I am sorry I snapped at you. I just want people to stop worrying so much and start treating me the way you used to."

"Bambi..." Carla pulled up a seat next to him, "I forgive you but I am not going to stop worrying about you. I am your friend and I care about you and I can see that something is wrong and I want to help, we all do, but you need to talk to us. I also want you to actually go and get an x-ray."

Turk walked over to the table, "Got you another drink Vanilla Bear." Turk handed JD an appletini.

Jordan motioned for Dr. Cox to come over and after several eye rolls and gestures he finally did.

"Now Bambi, pick which one of us you want to do it, or none of us, but you need to get that x-ray done..."

"I don't care who does it..." JD said, knowing he was out numbered.

Everyone sat in silence sipping their drinks, it was a ucomfortable silence...

_You can't keep everything bottled up_... JD imagined himself in a bottle that someone is shaking which then explodes. _Just tell them a little of the truth..._

"I punched a wall..."

"Well what the hell did you do that for Newbie? Did it make a snide remark about your latest blog entry?"

Jordan elbowed Perry.

"I think it's broken..."

Turk stood up, "Come on buddy... let's go get that x-ray..."


	7. My Gusher

**Authors Note:** Thanks for the few reviews I have gotten. I like writing this story so even if everyone else hates it I will continue writing it for myself AND you guys! :)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything and I am admitting it so don't sue me just enjoy the story!

**Don't Steal My Story!**

1.7 My Gusher

Turk walked into the lounge where JD and Carla were sitting, waiting for the results of the X-Rays. He turned on the x-ray board and put up the films.

"Come look Vanilla Bear..."

Carla followed JD over to wear Turk was standing.

"Bambi! How many times did you hit the wall?"

JD looked up at the x-ray himself for the first time.

_Damn... Broken in 3 places..._

JD sighed, "Can I just get my cast so we can get out of here?"

"Bambi, how many times did you break your arm when you were a kid? You have over a dozen healed breaks on here!"

"I was a very active kid Carla. We see hundreds of kids in here each year with broken arms."

"Yea but JD, we normally see them once and then never see them again..."

JD turned to Turk, "Can we just go get the cast please?"

Turk nodded, "What color are you going to get?"

"Can I get a row of each?" JD asked like nothing had ever happened and he was the happiest guy alive.

"Dude, that is a great idea! This is going to be sweet! Can I be the first to sign?"

Carla just stood there, staring at the X-Ray...

--

"Newbie! Are you outing yourself with your rainbow colored cast or are you just trying to see if you can blind me with all the colors?"

"Pretty cool eh?" JD said holding up his cast like a newly engaged woman would hold up her ring, "Turk did all the work but it was all my idea."

"That's just wonderful Sheila... What's even more wonderful is how you are going to be on light duty for the next 4-6 weeks, and when I say wonderful I mean for the patients because it means they are stable enough where you probably won't be able to kill them!"

"Can I just have my charts?"

"Here..." He handed JD a stack of charts and JD started down the hall, "Newbie! Be careful with that arm, don't hit the patients!"

--

"Ugh, Scooter, you're bleeding..."

_How does he just pop out of no where?_

"I know Janitor... Do you think I would be in here washing the cut out if I didn't know I was bleeding?"

Janitor watched as JD washed his arm and tried to stop the bleeding with no luck.

"Maybe you should have someone look at that..."

"Oh, because I am going to take medical advice from someone who's specializes in washing floors and cleaning up vomit!"

Janitor hit his mop on the floor, "Might I remind you, just the other day I was cleaning up your _vomit__**!**_ Since you are so much more qualified than I am you can clean up after yourself from now on and you can start with the blood you have all over this bathroom!"

"Yea...well..." JD was at a loss for a comeback, he felt terrible for demeaning Janitor, "Go scrub a floor!"

Janitor started out the door, "And stop calling me Scooter!"

JD reached for another paper towel as Turk came in the bathroom, "JD, what are you yelling at him about? He came out of here looking like he was about to get all up in someone's grill!"

"He got angry when I yelled at him about these horrible restrooms! I walk in here and brush my hand up against the wall of one of the stalls and there is a nail sticking out from where the toilet paper dispenser was just installed."

_Dear God please don't let Turk look for the nail..._

Turk looked down at JD's arm, "My God it's a gusher!"

JD stopped to fantasize about he and Turk having heads made out of fruit like in the "Gusher" fruit snack commercials.

"My head would be an apple so I could squeeze myself some tini when ever I wanted!"

"What?" Turk said, confused by JD's thinking out loud.

"Can you stitch me up Super Chocolate Bear? I don't want anyone to know about this... I am embarrassed enough about the whole arm thing, this would just be the icing on the cake!"

"Sure buddy..." Turk smiled, "You were thinking about the fruit snacks weren't you?"

"It was wonderful..."

--

"Come on Dr. Cox, you know you want to sign my cast!"

Dr. Cox glared at JD and returned his attention to his lunch.

"I remember the day you taught me how to make a cast..."

"Hand me that marker Newbie and keep your yap shut until I am done with my lunch!"

JD smiled. _I knew a quick trip down memory lane would cause him to have a change of heart._

"Can I sign next?"

_Ahhhhh! Janitor! I don't know how he does it..._

"Uh, sure, I guess..."

JD looked down at what the janitor wrote... **Get Better Soon! Your Friend, Janitor**

_Oh thank goodness... Must be he's not mad anymore._

--

After lunch JD went to finish up with the rest of his patients. After he finished with his carpel tunnel patient he looked at his next chart...

"Dr. Cox!" JD ran down the hall after him, "What is this?" He asked, holding up the chart.

"Why, Clarissa, it's a chart! Do I get a prize?"

JD was obviously annoyed, "Why did you give him back to me?"

"JD, Johnny has tons of specialists working with him throughout the day. All _you_ have to do is push his meds and change his bandages."

"I can't!" JD pushed the chart into Dr. Cox's chest as he quickly walked away from him.

"Jackie, I am not in the mood for a diva moment!"

JD just continued down the hall...


	8. My Intoxication

**Authors Note:** Thanks for the few reviews I have gotten. I like writing this story so even if everyone else hates it I will continue writing it for myself AND you guys! :) Not too much humor in this one but I tried at the end, the fantasy is also supposed to be symbolic though. I have now posted all the chapters I have written so starting tonight I will be writing all new chapters so my updates won't be as fast as they have been but I would like to do at least one chapter a day...

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything and I am admitting it so don't sue me just enjoy the story!

**Don't Steal My Story!**

1.8 My Intoxication

JD decided the best way to get out of his "funk" was to act like nothing was wrong. It was now his job to convince everyone that he was okay, everyone including himself. He was going to smile, make jokes, laugh at other peoples jokes, go out with his friends, and most importantly avoid Janitor. His gym teacher bunny conscience was telling him it was wrong to pretend to be someone he wasn't and to lie to his friends but he didn't care.

"Hey JD, when are you off?"

JD smiled at Elliot remembering his new plan, "Less than an hour, you?"

"Same... Jordan and I are going out tonight, wanna come with?"

"Just you guys?"

"Yeah, no one else wants to go, pleeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Okay, sound like fun!" JD smiled again.

_My cheeks hurt from all this smiling_.

"Okay, great! We'll meet you in the lounge in a little bit."

--

"Whoa, DJ, go easy there kid, we've only been here an hour!"

Elliot's eyes widened as she noticed JD had finished yet another drink. "JD, that is your 5th appletini, I did mention that you are paying for your own drinks, right?"

JD laughed, "Now ladies, don't be jealous that I can hold more liquor than you. It's actually an acquired skill."

_One that I could practice more if my head was an apple._ JD went back to his Gusher fantasy.

"JD, are you even listening to me?" Elliot asked annoyed.

"What?"

"I'm going up to get more drinks, do you need anything?"

_Yeah... I need a lot of things..._

"Um, just a beer... Actually make that two beers."

Elliot looked at him strangely and nodded as she got up to go to the bar. It was then that JD acknowledged Jordan was there, only because she was staring at him like she was in the cafeteria the other day.

"Hi..." JD said nervously.

"Hey..."

"Hi..." JD said again.

"Is there a reason you are downing your drinks like you have been sitting out in the desert for a week?"

"Just thirsty..."

"Listen kid, I've been through a lot of stuff in my life, stuff I haven't really talked to anyone about, not even Perry... I've been watching you and I can see right through your fake happiness and I think your friends can too they just aren't saying it. What I will say, from experience, is that eventually their worry and concern is going to turn into anger and frustration and they are not going to be nice to you anymore, they are going to be pissed and not want to be around you."

She paused waiting to see if he was going to say anything.

"I think you should tell them before someone else does because people are starting to talk about you at the hospital... I don't know what's true and what's not but I think whatever it is they would rather hear it from you and not some random nurse, or the janitor..."

JD looked up at her panicked.

"What are they saying?"

Just then Elliot came back with the drinks and Jordan stopped talking to JD who quickly downed his 2 beers like they were water and he had in fact, been left in the desert to dehydrate.

"Well ladies..." Jordan stood up after finishing her last drink and started putting on her coat, "Thanks for a fun night. I better get home and make sure Perry hasn't locked the kids in a cage again. See you tomorrow." As Jordan walked by JD she bent down next to him and whispered into his ear, "DJ, your gauze is showing... And, if you ask me, it's a little suspicious."

JD quickly put his arm under the table and pulled down his sleeve.

"Oh my God, JD? Did she just nibble on your ear?"

JD laughed, "Some women just can't control themselves when they are around all of this!" JD brought his hand from his head down like he was showing off a piece of artwork on display.

Elliot rolled her eyes.

--

A couple hours later Elliot walked home a very tipsy, and very handsy, JD.

JD was singing at the top of his lungs and they reached the apartment door, "If you like my body, and sexy you think I'm, come on, body, I know..."

"JD!" Eliot screeched, "I don't want your body, and I don't think you are sexy, I just want the key!"

JD just stood there with one arm around Elliot and the other rubbing his chest as he continued to sing. Just as she started to dig through JD's pockets for the key Carla came to the door.

"Elliot?"

"I'm sorry Carla, I couldn't find the key..."

"How much did he drink?" She asked, concerned by JD's state.

"Enough for him to start feeling himself and sing Rod Stewart songs."

"Thanks for bringing him home, I can't imagine how he would have made it here otherwise!"

Elliot nodded, "No problem. See you tomorrow."

Carla helped to guide JD, who had suddenly become quite aware of his drunkenness and stopped talking, into his room. She pulled down his blankets and helped him get into bed.

"Bambi... You have to work in the morning, why would you do this?"

"I think I am going to be sick..."

Carla quickly handed JD the garbage bin from the side of his bed but it wasn't quite fast enough...

"Oh Bambi... Let me get you another shirt..."

_Look at you, you can't even take care of yourself! You need Elliot to get you back to your own home, you need Carla to put you to bed and dress you... Your happiness plan is not working so well... Maybe I should talk to Jordan... She would probably tell Perry who would never let me live it down. If I tell Turk he will tell Carla, so will Elliot. If I tell Carla she will probably tell Perry since she thinks he actually cares about me. Regardless everyone is going to find out! I will lose my friends, my job, my dignity..._

"Bambi!"

"What?!"

"You scared me when you didn't answer..." Carla said, somewhat hurt by JD yelling at her... "Take your shirt off so you can get this one on."

JD took off his sweatshirt and put on the t-shirt Carla had found for him. Carla took his arm and held it up in front of his face...

"What happened here?" She asked, referring to the blood stained gauze around his wrist.

JD looked at his arm, in his current state he could not remember, "I have noooooo ideaaaaaaa..."

"Bambi... I am going to put you in a bubble if you don't stop getting hurt!"

Even as drunk as JD was he still pulled himself into a fantasy of himself floating in a giant bubble. "Bumper bubbles!" JD yelled. Perry was standing behind JD, blowing on his bubble and Carla is across from them blowing Turk in a bubble. "Harder Perry!" Just as JD is about to bump into Turks bubble the Janitor comes out with a giant needle and pops his bubble and he falls hard to the ground.

"Owwwww!" JD said out loud.

"You alright Bambi?" Carla said as she covered him up.

"No..." He whispered.

"What?" She asked, not hearing what he said.

"Yeah Carla, I'm okay. Thanks for helping me out tonight..."

"You're welcome. Good night Bambi."

"Night..."


	9. My Sunglasses At Night

**Authors Note:** I understand that some of you are really interested in knowing what is going on with JD but what I want to do is make this as realistic as possible and in reality someone would not come out and bear their soul to everyone after just 6 days(which is how many days have taken place in the story thus far, counting this chapter)... Over the next 4-5 chapters JD will tell someone, SOME of what is going on, but like I said, don't expect it all to come out right away... I'm sorry if that makes it so you hate my story but one thing I really hate about a lot of TV shows is how a person has a problem, tells someone about it, gets help, is cured, lives happily ever after, all in one 22 minute episode! Sorry this one is a little short, even though it doesn't have a lot of words I think it has a lot of content in it...

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything and I am admitting it so don't sue me just enjoy the story!

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.9 My Sunglasses At Night**

Perry couldn't help but laugh as he saw JD coming into the hospital the next morning with sunglasses on moving at a snails pace. Jordan had told him about their night out but he didn't expect to be so amused by this sight...

"Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades, oh no! Don't masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no! I can't believe it..."

"Perry, must your singing be so loud?" JD whispered as to not make his own head pound.

"Sorry Newbie..." Perry said sarcastically, still laughing a little.

"Don't be afraid of the guy in the shades, Perry." JD sang softly. "It can't escape you, 'cause you got it made with the guy in the shades!"

"I work alone Newbie..."

JD laughed, "Sorry..."

"You think you can get some work done?"

"I'm here aren't I Pear Bear?"

"First, here are your charts..." Dr. Cox handed JD a few charts. "Second, I need to talk to you at some point today, how about 11 o'clock?" JD nodded. "Finally, do not ever and I mean ever, call me Pear Bear again!"

JD laughed as he started down the hall to his first patient.

--

JD nervously sat down across from Perry at a table in the lounge.

"Well Janice, there are so many things I would rather be doing right now than talking to you. Things like, getting a prostate exam, getting my ears burnt off by the janitor again, being a janitor, being with Jordan, watching Dora,"

_Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping!_

"...getting hit by a bus, getting hit by a truck, getting hit by a plane, train, or automobile, even reading your blog! But, I am, as some form of punishment by the devil, your boss and it's my job to do this, as your boss, nothing more..."

JD nodded.

"Two things I need to talk to you about... First, little Johnny..."

_Oh my God, it feels like someone is hitting my head with a hammer!_

"JD, there are going to be patients that _touch_ you a little bit more than others. Children are especially hard to see in here because it's hard to imagine what they did to deserve to be here but, you can't let them break you because it is your job to help them get better. Even for me, someone much less sensitive than you, Harriet, seeing a little boy come in raped and beaten like he was is hard but you need to do your job. If you let all your patients affect you the way that he has everyone would die..."

JD just nodded.

"He's been asking for you ever since he came out of his coma... Prove to me that you have an ounce of masculinity inside that bean pole you call a body, and take him back as your patient."

"Ok..." JD spoke so quietly he wasn't even sure the word had even come out.

"Secondly thing... There seems to be a rumor going around that you are getting hurt on hospital property as some sort of plan to be able to sue the hospital... I know that the whole hitting a wall thing is nothing but a lie,"

_How does he know that??_

...and that you fell trying to walk in those new high heels of yours but I feel the need to ask if there is any truth to this rumor?"

"I would never sue the hospital Dr. Cox... Are we done now?" JD asked as he started to stand.

"Just one more thing Newbie... Jordan thinks something is wrong with you and now she won't stop talking to me about you and how concerned she is... If there is something wrong, talk to someone, not me, so you can get over it and so she will get off my back."

"Nothing's wrong Perry... Can I have Johnny's chart now?"

"Good boy Newbie, good boy." He handed him the chart. "And when you're done come back and see me to get your doggie biscuit."

_You can do this JD... Oh my God, the hammer has turned into a jackhammer!_


	10. My Tootsie Pop

**IMPORTANT: Please go to my profile and take my poll at the top! I'm interested in knowing what you guys think! It may not have any affect at all in my decision(but maybe it will), it is for my own personal curiosity...**

**Authors Note:** DRAMA galore! Wow... Just realized this is the shortest chapter I have written so far, sorry, seemed much longer when I wrote it!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, if I did, I would be too busy rolling(with Zach Braff) in the pool of money I would have made off the show.

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.10** **My Tootsie Pop**

"Are you ever going to go in?"

"How on earth do you always know where I am and just appear out of nowhere?" JD asked Janitor as he tried to get his heart back to a normal rhythm after he startled him.

"I didn't just appear, I've been standing here watching you there for over an hour..."

"Why?"

"Well, my blood sugar is a little low and I was headed to the cafeteria but suddenly everything started to spin and now I am afraid that this wall I have been leaning up against is the only thing keeping my face from meeting the ground."

"Right... Anyways, yes, I am going to go in, I was just, studying the chart before I went in so I can be sure to give my patient the best care possible."

"You haven't looked at the chart..."

"Neither have you!"

"Can I?"

"What? No! Go take some insulin and leave me alone!"

JD took a deep breath and walked into Johnny's room.

"Hey buddy..." JD choked out.

_My throat is so dry..._

"Hey Dr. Dorian. Where have you been?"

"I've been very busy. How are you?"

"I'm okay... Cool cast! How did you break your arm?"

"Keep a secret?"

Johnny nodded.

"I am an extreme skateboarder in my spare time. I have been practicing hard for the next X-Games and I didn't quite land my, ugh, half twist with, ugh, a shout, quite right."

Little Johnny's eyes widened, "That's so cool!"

"I know right? But you can't tell anyone here okay? It's our little secret."

Johnny smiled and acted like he was zipping his lips, "Don't worry Doctor, I won't tell."

They sat in silence for what seemed like hours to JD but was really only a minute or two.

"Doctor... Where's my daddy? I ask all the other doctors but no one tells me. You're cool, you'll tell me right?"

JD started to feel sick, "Um, Johnny, you're daddy is very sick and he is getting help just like you are so he can get better..."

"Did he get hurt when I did?"

"Um, yes..." JD stood up and looked at his pager that was not actually being paged, "Hey buddy, I have an emergency but I will come back later okay?"

Johnny looked down sadly, "Okay..."

JD ran out into the hallway bumping into Carla and knocking a stack of papers out of her hands and down the hall where he nearly ran over Elliot and Jordan and into the bathroom where he immediately got sick.

"Vanilla bear? Are you okay?"

_How did I miss that Turk was in here? Oh yea, I was too busy concentrating on not vomiting all over the hospital... _

"JD?"

JD pulled himself up off the floor and walked out of the stall to where Turk was, knowing that he wasn't going to leave until he came out.

"Are you okay?"

"No Turk, I'm not okay! I have something on my mind, okay? Are you happy now?"

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing..." JD stood over the sink throwing cold water in his face.

"What's on your mind?"

"It's just that... It's..."

_Tell him! Tell him! Tell him! Tell him!_

"I really want to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop but I can't help but bite into it before I get to the Tootise Roll!"

"Dude, JD, I am sure we can find the answer on the internet. Let's go look it up!"

JD looked at Turk strangely, "You are a good friend Turk." He said sarcastically.

"Thanks buddy!"

"You're also a complete moron!"

"Whaaaat?"

"Never mind Turk, just go back to work... I'm just going to stay in here for a few minutes to make sure my stomach is settled."

"Ok..."

As soon as Turk left JD went back in one of the stalls and sat on the back of a toilet. He tried to catch his breath but couldn't pull himself out of what was now a full blown panic attack. He looked over at the toilet paper dispenser, he couldn't keep his eyes off the sharp part that cuts the toilet paper.

_I could just go talk to Turk, tell him the truth... _

He looked back at the sharp edge. He rolled up his sleeve and took the gauze off his wrist and brought it up to the dispenser...


	11. My RamaLamaDingDong

**Authors Note:** I hope you guys are getting my song references in some of these chapters otherwise the funny parts may not seem so funny. Also, I hope I am not dating myself by assuming that most people over the age of 13 know these songs... This is another short chapter, only because I don't want to make them super long and I feel like if I don't end where I do I will have to make them long...

Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad mostly everyone is enjoying this. Again, I am sorry to the people that thinking I am dragging this out and are getting annoyed. This is how I am doing it and there really can't be anything done to change that. (That is not meant to sound rude in any way!)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, if I did, I would be too busy rolling(with Zach Braff) in the pool of money I would have made off the show.

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.11** **My** **Rama Lama Ding Dong**

JD sat down where he does everyday in the cafeteria with Turk, Carla, and Elliot. It only took a few seconds for him to feel the tension and see the glares coming from all his friends.

"Hey guys..." JD said nervously.

Turk looked at JD and then turned to Carla, "Did you hear something?"

"Oh, I get it, you're ignoring me, real mature..."

"So ladies..." Turk turned to Carla and Elliot, "Who do you think but the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?"

JD stood up and moved to a different table.

JD was playing with his pudding when Jordan came and sat down with him.

"Hey DJ..."

He looked up at her and nodded.

"They turned on you didn't they?" She motioned over towards everyone at the table.

"No, I just wanted to sit by myself..."

"That's not what I heard..."

JD looked up at her, "What did you hear?"

"Well you ran over Carla, nearly ran over Elliot and myself, and then yelled at your boyfriend about Tootsie Pops in the bathroom after you threw up and I don't think they are too happy about it."

"In my defense, if I hadn't ran over Carla and nearly ran over you and Elliot, I would have thrown up on you and I didn't yell at Turk about Tootsie Pops, I yelled at him because he wouldn't leave me alone!"

"Did Perry talk to you?" She asked, actually sounding as sweet and caring as Carla.

"He basically told me to get over myself so he wouldn't have to listen to you worry about me. Which, by the way, you shouldn't be doing."

"I know he may not show it... but he does care about you. He's been through so much pain in his life with his father and all, I think sometimes he just doesn't know how to deal with other people's pain. But, he is a good listener..."

JD nodded slightly.

"Here..." Jordan pulled out 2 rubber bands from her pocket.

"Um... thanks, I think." JD said, rather confused about Jordan's odd present.

"Put them on your wrist... When things get really bad, snap them."

_She knows!_

"Thank you."

Jordan stood up, "Think about talking to Perry, or if you want, you can talk to me. More importantly think about apologizing to your friends... Face it DJ, they probably need you more than you need them so they can't afford to have you mad at them."

JD smiled.

--

"Hey guys... Dinner smells great!" JD said as he entered the apartment, hoping that Carla and Turk weren't mad at him anymore.

"There's a plate for you over on the stove..." Turk said coldly.

JD got his plate and sat down at the table.

_Just apologize, you really don't need one more thing to worry about._

_Snap-Snap-Snap_ JD, snapped the rubber bands Jordan had given him on his wrist.

"Guys, I just want to apologize for my behavior earlier... I'm sorry."

"It's okay buddy."

"Yea Bambi, it's okay. I'm sorry too, for the way we treated you in the cafeteria."

"No Carla, you shouldn't be apologizing. I've had a lot on my mind lately and I've been a little depressed which has made me very cranky but I shouldn't be making excuses. I shouldn't be taking it out on you and I am sorry."

"Bambi, why don't you just talk to us about what is on your mind? We're your friends!"

_Snap-Snap-Snap_

"I can't Carla, I'm sorry."

"Why?"

A tear fell down JD's cheek, "I don't want you guys to hate me!"

_Snap-Snap-Snap_

"Why would we hate you?" Carla pleaded.

"Because everyone that I have ever told hates me!"

"We're not everyone Bambi!"

"I don't want to talk about it okay! Can we just eat and have a normal conversation? Please!"

Carla knew it was time to stop pushing JD and dropped it. They ate in silence for several minutes which was making everyone uncomfortable.

"So Vanilla Bear, Who do you think but the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?"

"I don't know? Who was that man? I'd like to shake his hand."

Carla rolled her eyes, "You guys are dip da dip da dips."

JD and Turk laughed.


	12. Authors Note Please Read

**Authors Note:** Most of the reviews I have received have been great, thank you! A few probably weren't meant to hurt my feelings but they did, what can I say, I'm a sensie. (Please don't say, "She's not a sensie, she's a nut job! LOL) Anyways, I made an outline of the rest of the "story" and it looks like it is going to be about 21 chapters... I am going to take some time off from posting to write the rest of the chapters and maybe revise some that I have written because I think maybe I am hammering them out too quickly and not paying enough attention to detail.

I do feel that I should mention this is my first fanfic ever and I have written the first 11 chapters in just 5 days... I am writing a novel that I am on chapter 30 of and I have been writing that for 8 **YEARS** so to say this is my best work would be a gross understatement but it is something I enjoy and I am glad there are a few of you out there that enjoy it as well!

I am going to be with my sister tomorrow, who has never seen Scrubs and will become educated by moi. Hopefully watching hours upon hours of Scrubs tomorrow will give me a ton of inspiration!

Don't forget about my poll at my profile!

Thanks again to everyone that has reviewed!

Amber


	13. My Moderate Confession

**Authors Note:** It was hard to throw in any humor in this chapter but I hope the things with little Johnny and a few other little things keep it a little happy and not overly dramatic. Thanks for the reviews! I would finish this story even if no one liked it but it makes it so much easier and more enjoyable to know that people do like it! Again, this one is a little short like the last few have been but even though they have less words they have a lot of 'content'.

Please be aware this is not JD's all out confession so the **poll** on my profile is still very helpful for me!

Also, my Author's Note counted as Chapter 12 on the site but in reality this is Chapter 12, that is why the numbering on here will now be different than the numbering on the site...

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, if I did, I wouldn't be posting this here! I hate spoilers!

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.12** **My** **Moderate Confession**

"Hey Johnny!"

JD was nervous as he went into his room but not as nervous as the day before. He was sweating but you couldn't see it. His voice was shaking but it wasn't too noticeable. And, he had his rubber band which had become a security blanket to him...

"Hey Dr. Dorian." Johnny smiled. "What do you have behind your back?" he asked excitedly.

JD smiled, "I wanted to get you something special for keeping that secret for me."

Johnny's eyes widened, "What is it?"

JD brought two tiny plastic skateboards and a tiny half pipe out from behind his back.

"Awesome!"

"Darn right awesome!" JD sat them down on Johnny's food tray and brought it over to him. "They are finger boards. Great for in hospital use and safety."

Johnny nodded and picked up one of the boards and studied it.

"Watch this Johnny, a nollie heelflip varial body varial slob air!"

_Thank you digital cable and extreme sports on demand!_

"Woah! A salad shooter!" Johnny laughed, "Be careful Dr. Dorian, don't break your finger!"

JD laughed, "So you like your present?"

"I do! I can't wait to show my Dad!"

_Oh my god! I can't do this!_

"Well I have other patients buddy... I expect to see some cool tricks when I come back."

"Ok! Thanks Dr. Dorian!"

"You are very welcome!"

JD broke into a daydream and he was walking out of Johnny's room. Why is it so hard to walk? He looked down and saw his heart and stomach had dropped to his feet. It's hard to walk with all that extra weight on your feet...

--

"Bambi, what are you doing in the supply closet?" Carla asked curiously.

"Um... I... Ugh... was just..."

"Bambi!" Carla gasped. "You're bleeding!"

JD looked down at the blood dripping from his arm to the floor.

"Oh my God! I must have rubbed against something sharp in here!"

_I'm so tired of lying._

"Come with me, let me take a look at it..." Carla's voice was shaking.

"No..." JD's voice was shaking as he tried to hold back his tears. A few escaped despite his best efforts.

Carla held out her hand, "Come on Bambi!"

JD hesitated but eventually took Carla's hand and followed her into an empty room.

"Let me see..."

JD closed his eyes and held out his arm.

_This is it, everyone's going to know... You're driving down the highway to hell my friend... Except, in the song, your friends are right there waiting, in my case, they won't be... _

"Bambi!"

JD snapped back to reality just in time to see Carla start to cry.

"Carla? Why are you crying?"

"Bambi... How did you get all these cuts?"

"I don't know... My skin gets very dry this time of year. I've been using a lotion with aloe in it but I think I should switch to one with cocoa butter, don't you? I probably should anyways, that aloe made my hands super slippery, I'm dropping things all the time. The other day I dropped a jar of..."

"JD!" Carla cut him off knowing his nervous rambling would never end if she didn't.

_Uh oh, she's not calling me Bambi! She is maaaaaaaad!_

"JD, I want you to tell me the truth!"

"What do you want me to say Carla!?" JD stood up and started pacing around the room. "What do you want me to say? That I am crazy? That I cut myself on purpose? Is that what you want? Is it?"

"Is that the truth?"

JD nodded and collapsed face first on the bed and buried his head under a pillow.

"Why?"

"You wouldn't understand..."

Carla went and sat next to him... "I can try to understand."

"When I hurt myself... It hurts so much that it's all I can think about... I don't think about all the... all the... the shit in my head."

"You could just talk to me instead..."

"It's not that easy Carla! I can't just talk to you and you can't talk to anyone about his! No one else can find out!"

Carla gently rubbed JD's back, "It's okay Bambi. You're going to be okay..."


	14. My Burden

**Authors Note:** Another short one... The last few probably will be just because I am splitting them up the way I think they should be split up. I don't think there is any humor in this one, sorry! It's going to be kinda hard to fit that in the next few chapters as all the stuff with JD is coming out but I swear I am going to try to fit some in!

Don't forget about the **poll** on my profile! It is still very helpful for me!

Thank you sooooooooo much for all the reviews!

Also, my Author's Note counted as Chapter 12, that is why the numbering on here will now be different than the numbering on the site...

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, if I did, I wouldn't be posting this here! I hate spoilers!

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.13** **My** **Burden**

"Hey Vanilla Bear over here!"

_Damn it!_

JD was trying his best to make it in the cafeteria to get his lunch and leave without anyone seeing him. Of course, Turk just had to look up as he was making a mad dash for the door. JD walked over to the table where only Turk and Carla were sitting and sat down next to Turk.

"Where is everyone?"

"Oh, Jack and Jennifer had check-ups today so Dr. Cox and Jordan are with them and Elliot is working the night shift."

_Just my luck..._

JD and Carla looked up at the same time and when their eyes met they immediately looked back at their food.

"Are you guys fighting?"

JD fantasized about he and Carla in a boxing ring... Carla started pulling his hair and then started punching him in the stomach and reached inside his chest and pulled his heart out and written on the heart is the word 'secrets'.

"Helloooooo? Are you guys deaf?"

"We're not fighting baby..." Carla still didn't look up.

"Well something is going on, you guys never act like this!"

"Just drop it Turk! Nothing is wrong!" JD slammed his tray on the table and stood up and walked out of the cafeteria.

Turk looked at JD leaving and back at Carla who was still staring at her tray. He decided stare at her until she cracked...

"Turk, have you noticed anything strange about Bambi lately?"

Turk rolled his eyes, "Baby, how many times do I have to tell you, he's fine!"

Carla bit her lower lip. She didn't want to betray JD's trust but it was hard for her to know what he had told her and not have anyone to talk to about it. The truth was she didn't know how to help him and she was scared.

"What is going on between you two anyways? You wouldn't even look at each other at home last night and just about a minute ago I could have cut the tension between you with my scalpel!"

"Turk, there is something wrong with JD..."

"Seriously baby, what did I tell..."

"Turk! He told me!" Carla started to cry.

"Told you what?" Turk asked annoyed, still sure that Carla was overreacting.

Carla leaned closer toward Turk, "He cuts himself..." she whispered.

"Baby, what on earth are you talking about?"

"He cuts himself Turk. You know self-injury, self-mutilation, he's a cutter."

"Carla, that is something goth chicks and emo kids do. JD does not hurt himself."

Carla hit Turk from across the table, "That is horribly stereotypical and insensitive Turk! I can't believe you said that but you need to believe that JD told me that. If you want proof go look at his arm!"

Turk immediately thought back to the other day when he saw JD in the bathroom after he was yelling at Janitor. _"He got angry when I yelled at him about these horrible restrooms! I walk in here and brush my arm up against the wall of one of the stalls and there is a nail sticking out from where the toilet paper dispenser was just installed."_

Turk stood up, "I'll be right back baby..."

He went into the bathroom and looked at all the stalls, searching for the nail that cut JD. There wasn't one. "Damn it!" Turk kicked the stall before walking back to the cafeteria.

"Turk, where did you go?" Carla asked nervously as he sat back down.

"Bathroom..."

"Are you okay?"

"Why are you asking me that?! I'm not the one cutting myself open!"

"Turk, I know you are scared..."

"Baby! I am not scared, I am angry! You think you know a guy..."

Turk stood up and started out of the cafeteria.

"Turk come back!" Carla cried. "Turk!"


	15. My Enemy My Diary

**Authors Note:** Sorry for taking so long to update! I have had a killer migraine for a few days and staring at the computer screen was not a possibility! I did get bits and pieces of the next few chapters(Only 3-4 left!!) written but I don't have any more full chapters done besides this one. I hope to get the next chapter up within the next couple days. Thanks for sticking with me!

Hopefully this makes sense to everyone! My brain is not working the way it used to!

Thank you sooooooooo much for all the reviews!

Also, my Author's Note counted as Chapter 12, that is why the numbering on here will now be different than the numbering on the site...

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, if I did, I wouldn't be posting this here! I hate spoilers!

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.14** **My** **Enemy My Diary**

"Hey man! How's it going five!?"

JD ignored the fact that the Todd was standing in his dining room waiting for his high five.

"Turk..." JD whispered as he pulled him to the side, "What is the Todd doing here?"

"Well JD, the Todd and I are having a guys night."

"Ooooh, what's on the agenda?" JD asked excitedly.

"We are going to watch 'The Breakfast Club'."

"Oh!" JD pretended to bounce a basketball, "I'm gonna get me a scholarshiiiiip."

"Um yeah, actually JD, it's just going to be me and the Todd..."

"What?" JD's voice cracked like a teenage girl.

"Yeah, maybe next time you can join us..."

JD took a moment to absorb what had just happened and then stormed out of the apartment.

--

JD knew Elliot was working late but also knew she was the only one that wasn't treating him like a total nut job so he sat outside her apartment until she came home.

"JD, what are you doing here?"

"Just waiting for you to come home..."

"JD..." Elliot fumbled with her keys, "It's two in the morning!" As he stood up she noticed his blood shot eyes and puffy cheeks. "Have you been crying?"

"What? No! I'm just tired."

"They why aren't you home sleeping?" Elliot asked as she finally unlocked the door and led them into the apartment.

JD made himself comfortable on the couch, "I thought maybe I could crash here tonight."

"Why? I mean, I don't mind if you stay here but, why do you want to?"

"I don't know, we never hang out anymore..."

"JD, it's late! I'm coming off a twelve hour shift and I have to be back in the morning... I'm going to sleep."

JD nodded, "I have to work in the morning too. We can have breakfast and ride to work together."

"Ok..." Elliot was too tired to ask any more questions or argue with JD, "That sounds good, but you're sleeping on the couch."

"Not a problem!" JD layed down and covered himself with a blanket from the back of the couch.

Elliot bent over and gave him a hug.

_How did she know I needed that?_

"Good night Elliot."

"Good night JD..."

Ellito stopped and turned back to JD before she went into her room, "JD?"

"Yeah?"

"You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

JD smiled, "Of course Elliot!"

"Ok... night..."

--

"Good morning sleepy head!" JD was standing over the stove cooking breakfast when Elliot got up.

"What smells so good?" Elliot asked between yawns.

"French toast, pancakes, waffles, bacon, sausage, oatmeal..."

"JD! Where did you get all this stuff? I don't even think I had cereal in the cupboard let alone all this stuff!"

JD laughed, "I went and bought it this morning. I couldn't sleep so I got up early and did some shopping and then I came back and started cooking."

"Did you sleep at all last night? I heard the TV turn on and off all night long."

_Last night? I haven't slept in days!_

"I slept well last night..." JD put a plate of food in front of Elliot and sat down next to her.

"Oh my goodness JD this tastes so good!"

"So... if I promise to cook for you do you think I could crash here for a few more nights?"

"Why?"

"Do I need a reason?"

"JD, I have a one bedroom apartment... Your room is bigger than my whole apartment and you have your own bathroom... I just can't figure out why you would rather stay here."

"I just like hanging out with you..." JD answered nervously.

"JD... I am coming off of a broken engagement, I am really not ready for another relationship."

"Who said anything about a relationship?" JD's voice suddenly hit a higher octave. "I'm just looking for a friend."

"You can stay here JD, especially if you keep cooking food like this but I am not going to lie, it all seems a little suspicious to me... Something up, I know it..."

JD hugged her like a small child who had just received the best gift ever from their mom. "Thanks Elliot!"

--

"Where's JD?" Elliot asked as she sat down at lunch.

"He left last night and never came back and I haven't seen him since..." Turk answered coldly.

"Well I brought him to work this morning so he is here somewhere..."

"Elliot, Can we stop talking about JD?"

"You found Bambi?" Carla asked Elliot as she sat down next to Turk.

"Found him?" Elliot asked overly confused.

"He never came home last night. I'm worried."

"JD crashed at my place last night... He asked if he could stay with me for awhile..."

Carla elbowed Turk, "What did you do?"

"What is this suddenly my fault?" Turk asked defensively.

"Are you guys fighting?" Elliot asked, still very confused.

"I guess you could say that..."

Carla elbowed Turk again, "He needs a friend more than anything right now and this is how you are treating him! Making him run away!"

"What are you guys going on about?" Elliot asked, hoping for some answers.

"Nothing..." They replied in unison.

Elliot stood up, "I'm going to go look for him..."

"Blonde Doctor!"

Elliot groaned when she turned around and saw the Janitor running behind her.

"What is it? I'm kind of busy..."

"Scooter asked Dr. Cox if he could go home for his lunch, he's not here..."

"Thank you." Elliot started to walk away.

"Wait! I heard you talking at lunch and I know something about Scooter I think you should know about..."

"How could you possibly know something I don't?" Elliot asked annoyed, sure that Janitor was wasting her time with one of his stories.

"I read his diary..."

"JD keeps a diary?"

"Doesn't every girl?"

Elliot couldn't help but laugh a little, "So what was in his diary?"

"Well, I know that Scooter never intended anyone to read his diary so I photocopied just a few select pieces so that I don't give away too much but also so I had enough information to give one of his friends that I thought could help him..."

"You photocopied his diary?"

"I have a photocopy of your drivers license, social security card, and one of your major credit cards. What's your point?"

Elliot took a moment to stare at Janitor with her mouth practically to the ground.

"So, where is this photocopy of his diary?"

"If I give you this, you can't just go up to him and talk to him about it, and you can't tell him that I gave you this. I don't want to lose his respect..."

"His respect?" Elliot laughed.

Janitor broke into song, singing into the end of his mop, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me!"

"Okay, I won't tell him you gave it to me and I won't talk to him about it, just give it to me! Please..."

Janitor pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, "Here ya go..."


	16. My Nickname II

**Authors Note:** Hey guys! I'm glad most of you are liking my story even though I haven't been able to fit too much humor in the last few chapters... Before you all go hating Turk keep reading the rest of the story, lol... I know you are all mad at him now but it makes me feel bad that you are, lol...

The Poll is closed(obviously). Thanks millions to everyone who voted!

Thank you sooooooooo much for all the reviews! **Some of them are so nice, you have no idea how much they mean to me!**

Also, my Author's Note counted as Chapter 12, that is why the numbering on here will now be different than the numbering on the site...

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, if I did, I wouldn't be posting this here! I hate spoilers!

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.15** **My** **Nickname II**

Elliot immediately went back to the cafeteria after reading the photocopy Janitor had given her. She knew she couldn't talk to JD, she didn't want him to know what Janitor had done and she didn't want to get him upset. She realized though, that Carla and Turk must know and that is why JD had stayed with her last night. For that reason, she went back to talk to them.

"Ok guys, no lies, no stories, I just want the truth, is there something going on with JD?"

Carla looked at Turk and Turk looked back at Carla.

"Come on guys! Just tell me!"

"There is something wrong with Bambi, but I can't tell you! It was wrong for me to tell Turk and I feel horrible about it, I don't want to betray his trust anymore..."

Elliot sighed, "I know what he is _doing_, I just want to know if you know why?"

"Elliot, anyone that does that is crazy. Simple as that!"

"Turk?" Elliot said surprised at his reaction. "Now I see why he crashed with me last night..."

"You guys need to stop blaming me for all this!" Turk raised his voice even higher, "I didn't even tell him I knew about the slicing and dicing!"

"Turk!" Carla elbowed him much harder than she ever has.

"You're his best frie..." Elliot looked up as she was finishing her thought and saw JD standing behind Turk and Carla. "JD how long have you been there?" She asked nervously.

JD turned to Turk, "I kind of figured you knew but I never thought you would treat me the way you did last night or worse yet say the things you just did about me behind my back! I have always been there for you Turk! The day you found out you had diabetes who was the one that had a sugar free candy basket waiting for you when you got home? And when we were in college and your ex-girlfriend Gina had her sorority sisters throw gum at you, who was the one that picked it out of your corn rows?"

JD turned to Carla now, "Carla! Who made all the food and desert trays for your mothers funeral and more importantly was there for you during that time? Who was the one that helped take care of Izzy while you were going through post-partum depression? I watched Dora for you, damn it!"

Finally, he turned to Elliot, "And you Elliot... Who is the one who has quietly watched as you have gone on dates, comforted you when you got your heartbroken, especially when Keith broke your heart? Who is the one who let his own heart break over and over while watching you go through all this? Who went through the trouble of making eggs sunny side up this morning when I like mine scrambled?"

JD turned so he was looking at all three of them now, "The answer is me! I know I may not be the best friend in the whole world but I try pretty damn hard to be! I can tell you one thing, I may talk about a bad hair cut behind your backs but I would never talk about something like this. And I certainly wouldn't turn my back on you because of it!"

"Bambi... we just want to help!"

"Help? Help?" His cracked. "Well, sometimes you can help more by not helping!"

It was obvious that JD was about to cry as he ran out of the cafeteria.

"Turk, go after him..."

"Baby, you go after him!"

Carla looked at Elliot.

Elliot shook her head, "I'm not going after him!"

"I want to help Bambi but I don't know how! I don't know anything about what he does and I don't know why he does it... He is never going to trust me again so it's not like his is going to tell me now..."

"Baby, just leave it! He said he doesn't want our help!"

"Guys! I don't know what to do!" Elliot screeched.

--

JD went to the old break room where no one ever goes anymore. After banging his good wrist over and over on a table until his fingers were too swollen to move them he crashed on the couch where he was trying his best not to get sucked into a full anxiety attack.

"Are you okay?"

JD jumped. _Of course the janitor would find me in here!_

"Do you ever fix or clean anything? You know... work?"

"I asked you first."

"What?" JD was so startled he didn't realize that Janitor had asked him a question.

"Are you okay?" He asked again.

"Is this some kind of riddle?"

"No... It's a question."

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I am okay."

Janitor sat down at the other end of the couch JD was sitting on.

"Did I ever tell you why I call you Scooter?"

"It's short for scooter pie. You hate scooter pie."

_I on the other hand love scooter pie, oh who am I kidding I love all pie. Well, except apple pie, after I saw the movie American Pie I haven't been able to bring myself to eat it..._

"Yea well I lied..."

"Shocker."

"I had a dog named Scooter. He was the stupidest dog to ever live and boy was he annoying! He was afraid of leaves, he peed everywhere except outside, he barked at everything, chewed everything, humped everything. He didn't listen to a word I said."

"This is just making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."

Janitor ignored JD's sarcastic comment and continued, "One day I was careless and left the front door open and Scooter got out. He had a strange fascination with the color yellow which I attribute to the fact that I am a bad father and used the television as a babysitter and I used to let him watch Bananas in Pajamas all the time. It was his favorite, stupid dog..."

JD smiled as he remembered a few Halloweens ago when he and Turk dressed up as the Bananas and sang the song all through the neighborhood. _"Bananas in pajamas are coming down the stairs. Bananas in pajamas are coming down in pairs..." That is a great show! _

"Anyways, he saw a school bus coming down the road just as I realized he was in the front yard. I saw his tail wagging like crazy as the bus approached and I yelled at him to stay but it was too late. He ran right in front of the bus, never had a chance..."

"I liked the scooter pie story better." JD stood up and started toward the door before Janitor could start another story.

"Scooter!"

_Too slow!_ JD turned back toward Janitor.

"Even though Scooter did all those stupid things and was annoying, he was my friend... I really liked having him around, I enjoyed his company... I wish I would have seen him out there, starring death in the eye sooner... I wish I could have helped him."

JD turned back toward the door without saying a word.

--

Jordan was surprised when she answered the door and found JD on standing on the other side.

"Hey DJ, what are you doing here?"

"I was wondering..." His voice was shaking so much he was barely understandable, "I was wondering if that offer for talking is still good?"

She nodded, "Come on in..."


	17. My Big Confession

**Authors Note:** Author's note is at the end of the chapter due to SPOILERS throughout the chapter!

Thank you sooooooooo much for all the reviews! **Some of them are so nice, you have no idea how much they mean to me!**

Also, my Author's Note counted as Chapter 12, that is why the numbering on here will now be different than the numbering on the site...

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything! If I did the show probably wouldn't have any fans because I am no Bill Lawrence, lol...

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.16** **My** **Big Confession**

"Where would you be most comfortable?" Jordan asked as she led JD into the apartment. "The kids are with their grandmother and Perry is still at work so the living room or the dining room works."

"Living room works for me..."

Jordan nodded as she sat down in the recliner and JD chose the couch and immediately picked up a pillow and hugged it against his chest.

"Want some ice for that hand?" Jordan asked as she looked at JD's hands hugging the pillow.

JD blushed, "If it's not too much trouble..."

Jordan went to the kitchen and came back with an ice pack and a bottle of water and handed them to JD.

"Rough day?"

"I guess you could say that..."

"Wanna talk about it?"

_Yea, but I don't know if I can... _

"My friends are pissed and don't want to be around me anymore... Just like you said would happen..."

"Did you tell them what's bothering you?"

"Why does everyone think something is bothering me? Nothing is bothering me!"

"JD, something is bothering you..."

"No, Jordan, you're wrong!" JD started to cry and buried his face in the pillow he was still hugging.

He suddenly felt something hit him on the head. He looked up and saw a box of tissues sitting next to him, "Um, thanks I think..."

"JD, my father was a very angry man... He used to hurt me, sometimes really bad... I couldn't handle all the pain he caused me but some how cutting myself helped me deal with the pain he caused, both physical and emotional. It took me a long time to realize that he wasn't angry at me and that I didn't cause his anger and even after I realized that it didn't hurt any less... The memories can still jolt me out of bed at night, the memories still hurt..."

"No one beat me Jordan..."

"Okay, but you do hurt yourself. It bothers me that you hurt yourself as badly as you do. You broke your arm and possibly your other one as well... I saw the gauze at the bar..."

"Why does it bother you?" JD asked curiously.

"It scares me that what's bothering you is something so bad that you are doing that to yourself..."

"I'm sorry I scare you..." JD said like a child that just broke a window with his baseball.

"I don't want you to apologize, I want you to tell me what is bothering you..."

"No!"

"Ok, what do your friends know that is making them so pissed?"

"They just know that I cut myself. They don't know that I broke my arm and they don't know why..."

"Well that is a step, that's the first time I heard you admit that you hurt yourself and that there is a reason..."

"Turk is ignoring me and Carla and Elliot are trying to help too much."

"JD, they don't get it..."

"Carla thinks I should just be able to talk to her and then I won't hurt myself..."

"JD... They don't understand... You need to talk to them..."

"What if they hate me forever?" JD asked nervously.

"Then they aren't really your friends!"

"I have this patient..." JD stopped to try and keep himself from crying... "A little boy named Johnny, how ironic is that? His father raped and beat him into a coma... He doesn't remember any of it. Some would be so happy for the kid, think it was a miracle." JD punched his already hurt hand on the couch. "I can't help but be angry at him, angry that he can't remember and I can!"

"Did your father do that to you?"

"No..." JD sobbed. "My mom worked two jobs, my dad was always out and my brother was a jock so he was always out playing sports. There was this woman, Deanna, that was my babysitter. She was like 35 and I was 7 the first time, she was my babysitter for 3 years."

"You know it wasn't your fault, right?"

"Then who's was it?" JD yelled! "Guys rape girls, guys rape guys, but girls don't rape guys! Guys are supposed to be able to control themselves!"

"JD! You were a little boy and she was an adult! Girls can rape guys, girls can even rape girls! JD, you can't keep blaming yourself for this!"

JD punched the couch again, "But I can't stop thinking about it! Everyday I think about it! Little Johnny just pushed me over the edge because I know that eventually I have to tell him and I know that there is that chance that he is going to start to remember and then he is going to be just like me!"

"JD..." Jordan got up and sat next to JD and put her arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer to her as he started to cry harder and as Dr. Cox walked in the front door.

"Oh my goodness! Were you guys just about to start some girl on girl action? Let me go get my video camera!"

"Perry, give the kid a break! Can't you see he's upset?"

Dr. Cox stopped for a minute and realized that JD really was upset and that he was bawling into the pillow.

"Delilah, that's my favorite pillow, I don't really want it covered in your tears so why don't you pick your head up and tell me what's going on?"

JD did pick his head up, "Why? So you can pick on me some more? So you will have something to tell everyone at work about me? So then even more people can hate me?"

"Come on Newbie... no one hates you besides me!"

"Turk, Carla, and Elliot all hate me!"

"Whoa! What did you do Janice?"

"Seriously Perry, the girls names are not helping!" Jordan yelled as she turned to JD. "JD, I know that even though he is a royal jackass, for some reason, you look up to Perry, why don't you tell him about your arm. You don't have to tell him anymore than that if you don't want, but it will be good practice for you telling your friends the truth..."

"What happened to your arm Newbie?" It was then that Dr. Cox realized the discoloration and swelling of JD's "good arm".

"I broke my arm..."

"Wow, that was a big success!"

"Dr. Cox... I broke my arm, literally! I broke it on purpose. I didn't do it playing basketball and I didn't punch a wall... I broke my arm."

"Why would you do such a thing?" Dr. Cox asked with true concern in his voice.

"I have things in my head, things I think about all the time... This..." JD rolled up his sleeve to reveal his blood stained gauze and held out both of his arms, "...is how I handle it..."

"Newbie! You did all that to yourself?"

JD nodded.

"How does that help you?" He asked curiously.

"It gives me something else to think about... It hurts so bad that it's all I think about, I can't think about everything else..."

Dr. Cox nodded and looked at Jordan as he wasn't sure what to say next.

"JD, do you have time tomorrow where you could talk to your friends? I could come with you if you want..."

"We are all working tomorrow morning... but I don't think I can tell them."

"JD, if you tell them, what you told me, they are going to understand better and then they will be able to help you the right way... They will be able to be there for you, when you want them to be. Just explain to them that sometimes, you just need your space..."

JD nodded.

"Ok, I will set it up with them for you..."

"Thank you Jordan..." JD turned to Dr. Cox, "Thanks for not making a joke about it Dr. Cox."

"Newbie, what you just told me is nothing to joke about, it took guts for you to tell me that. I respect that."

"Thank you."

"Do you have somewhere to go tonight?" Jordan asked remembering that he came with a duffel bag...

"Oh, um, yea..."

"Newbie... It's late, you can sleep on the couch."

JD nodded, "I appreciate that."

Dr. Cox smiled, "Want to see my fish?"

"You have a fish?" JD asked, trying not to laugh.

"No, I have fish, plural..." Perry led JD over to the tank in the dining room. "This big one here is Fugly Slut."

JD had to laugh this time... "Fugly Slut?"

"Hello Newbie? From Mean Girls! The greatest Lindsay Lohan movie ever!"

JD smiled, "Well she doesn't look Fugly but by the look of all those little baby fish swimming around I would guess that the slut part fits her well."

Dr. Cox pointed his finger in JD's face, "Careful Newbie, you could be sleeping in the hall tonight!"

JD just continued to laugh...

**Authors Note:** I had decided in my head that Jordan was going to be the first one that JD opened up to with Dr. Cox being a part of the end of the conversation before I posted the poll in my profile to see what you guys thought. I was actually quite surprised that you guys voted for Jordan! I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations!


	18. My Surrender

**Authors Note:** Second to last chapter! I'm so sad to finish this story! A little shorter than the last couple chapters but not too short...

Thank you sooooooooo much for all the reviews!

Also, my Author's Note counted as Chapter 12, that is why the numbering on here will now be different than the numbering on the site...

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, if I did, I wouldn't be posting this here! I hate spoilers!

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.17** **My** **Surrender**

"Hey Buddy! Do you have any cool tricks to show me?"

"No..." Johnny replied sadly.

JD sat down in the chair next to Johnny's bed, "Hey! What's wrong?"

"Am I ever going to get to see my daddy again?"

"When he is all better you will be able to see him again, I promise!"

"What's wrong with him?"

"Well..." JD snapped his rubber band a couple times. "Your dad has a problem with his brain... He can get better but it will take a little while."

"You promise I can see him again?"

JD held out his pinky, "I promise!"

Johnny smiled as JD looked at his watch. "Now Johnny, I have to go to a meeting but I will be back afterwards and I expect to see some pretty sick tricks, okay?"

Johnny nodded, "You got it Dr. Dorian!"

--

Jordan had sat Carla, Turk, Elliot, and Perry(who JD had asked to be there with his friends) in a semi-circle in the lounge and had locked the door so that no one else could come in. She had two chairs facing them for her and JD to sit down in. JD was the last one to come in and nervously sat down next to Jordan as he felt everyone's eyes burning a whole in him.

"Want me to start?" Jordan whispered.

JD nodded.

"Okay guys... I asked you here today because JD would like to talk to you... It would be nice if you could hold all comments and questions until he is done talking and to listen but not judge as he talks. Okay?"

Everyone nodded.

"Um..." JD cleared his throat. "I know you guys have had some concerns about me lately..."

JD started playing with his cast nervously.

"I know that everyone in this room knows that I cut myself... What I don't think a lot of you know is that I also broke my own arm..."

JD looked down and found a place on the floor to concentrate on before he continued, "One of my patients has caused me to think about some things more than usual and it's been hard for me. There are things I think about everyday but now I seem to think about them even more and sometimes I can't handle it."

"You're doing good DJ..." Jordan whispered.

"What I don't think you realize is that this is something I have been doing for many years and you just didn't know before but it's just been more intense lately..."

"I don't know what else to say... I don't want to say any more..." JD whispered to Jordan. "Maybe now I should let them say something..."

"Ok..." Jordan looked around at the others, "Who wants to say something or has a question?"

Elliot raised her hand, "Can you tell us what patient?"

"Johnny..." JD replied nervously, knowing that everyone knew who he was and why he was there...

"I have a question Bambi..." Carla said fighting back tears.

JD nodded at her.

"Why can't you just talk to one of us instead of hurting yourself?"

"It's not that easy... I wish it was Carla I really do but a lot of times I feel bad for talking to someone about it. I mean, look how you reacted when I told you..."

"I'm sorry Bambi..."

"I'm sorry too JD." Elliot got up and gave him a hug, followed by Carla, and then, much to JD's surprise, Dr. Cox joined the group hug.

_Oh my God! I've died and gone to Heaven! _

"Newbie... We aren't going to make you talk any more about this right now but I am here if you need me, and I know these two ladies are too."

Carla and Elliot nodded.

"Thanks guys..."

Carla, Elliot and Perry walked out of the room together and JD turned to Jordan.

"Jordan, I don't know how to thank you..."

"Some free babysitting would be a great start!"

JD smiled, "Anytime..."

"You don't owe me a thank you DJ... I'm just glad you finally talked to someone. If you need to talk to someone, I am here, anytime..."

"Thanks..."

Jordan patted JD on his shoulder as she walked out of the lounge.

JD turned to Turk who was still sitting, silently staring straight ahead. JD waited a minute, hoping he would say something, anything, and turned toward the door when didn't say a word. Just as JD reached the door Turk finally spoke...

"Vanilla Bear?"

JD nervously turned back, "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for treating you the way I did..."

"It's okay Choc..."

"No." Turk interrupted him, "It's not okay! When I found out that you were hurting yourself I was angry! Angry at myself for not being as good a friend to you that you are to me! Angry for not seeing the pain you were in... Seeing that you were hurting yourself... Seeing through your lies... Then, once I found out I was angry that I couldn't help you! And... I was scared..."

"It's okay Turk!"

"I'm sorry Vanilla Bear!" Turk cried.

"It's okay Super Chocolate Bear!"

Turk stood up and hugged JD. "I'm sorry..."

JD nodded.

"Are you going to move back home?"

"If you guys want me back..."

Turk smiled, "Yeah! JD's moving back home!"

JD walked out of the lounge with Turk when he saw Janitor watching him... "Hey Turk, I'll catch up with you in a minute..."

JD carefully approached Janitor, "Hey..."

"Hey Scooter..."

"I just wanted to say thank you."

"For what?" Janitor asked confused.

"The Scooter story you told me... I don't care if it was true or not, it made me feel good about myself. I needed that..."

Janitor just stared at him, "Is that all?"

JD nodded.

"Well then, shoo... I have floors to clean..."

JD turned to go back and find Turk, as he started to walk away Janitor yelled to him...

"Scooter!"

"Yeah?"

"It's a true story and you're welcome..."

JD smiled.


	19. My Little Buddy

**Authors Note:** Last Chapter! cries. Really short but it's how I want it to end...

Thank you sooooooooo much for all the reviews!

Also, my Author's Note counted as Chapter 12, that is why the numbering on here will now be different than the numbering on the site...

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, if I did, I wouldn't be posting this here! I hate spoilers!

**Don't Steal My Story!**

**1.18** **My Little Buddy**

"Good morning Clarabelle!"

JD smiled, secretly he was thankful that Dr. Cox was still calling him girls names, it meant that even though he knew his secret he was still treating him the same.

"Little Johnny is being discharged tomorrow... They have a great foster family for him that lives just two streets over. Bad news is, someone needs to talk to him about what really happened, I can tell him if you want but he really respects you. If you don't want to tell him I totally understand though..."

JD took a deep breath, "I can tell him..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea..."

--

"Hey Dr. Dorian! I have some tricks to show you!"

JD sat down in his usual chair next to Johnny's bed, "I totally can't wait to see them but first we need to talk about something..."

"Ok..."

"Johnny..." JD cleared his throat that had suddenly become very dry. "I need to talk to you about how you got hurt..."

"What do you mean?" He asked confused.

"Johnny... your dad is very sick and he doesn't always know what he is doing..."

Johnny just stared at him. As Johnny stared at JD, Dr. Cox looked into the window of Johnny's room. He was looking at JD talking to Johnny but in his head he was seeing a young JD in the bed with himself sitting in the chair next to his bed. Johnny looked up to JD in the same way JD looked up to him.

"He was very sick the day you got hurt and he is the one that hurt you. You didn't do anything wrong, he's just sick and that is why he hurt you. It wasn't your fault."

"I know..."

"You know what?" JD asked.

"I know that he hurt me... I started remembering a little bit. I just didn't tell anyone because I was afraid no one would believe me..."

"Johnny, we would believe you! You need to tell adults those things!"

"I know... Will I still get to see him when he is better?"

"Yes... I promised you didn't I?"

Johnny nodded, "I still love him, he's my daddy..."

"I know you do..." JD smiled, "Want some good news now?"

Johnny's eyes lit up, "They found a great family for you to stay with while your dad gets better and they live just a couple streets away from here."

"So I can visit you?"

"Anytime you want buddy! Anytime you want to talk or just hang out, I'm here..."

"When do I get to go?"

"Tomorrow!"

"Wow!" Johnny's smile suddenly turned into a frown.

"What's the matter buddy?"

"I kinda wished that I could do something before I left the hospital..."

"What's that?"

"I wanted to see you skateboard..."

JD laughed nervously... "I think we could work something out..." JD picked Johnny up and put him in the wheelchair that was sitting beside his bed. He pushed Johnny out into the hallway by the nurses station...

"Wait here..."

JD remembered that there was a skateboard that someone had left in the locker room.

When JD got back to the nurses station he realized his audience had grown and that Turk, Carla, Elliot, Janitor, Perry, and Jordan were all standing behind Johnny.

"Ok, buddy, remember, I have a broken arm so I have to be careful and just do something simple..."

"That's okay!" Johnny said excitedly.

JD walked a few feet away from the nurses station...

"Okay, can I get a count down?" He yelled.

"Three! Two!"

JD took a deep breath.

"One! Go!"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeaaaaagle!"


	20. Authors Note

I just want to thank everyone that stuck with me through this story. I really REALLY enjoyed writing this and I never expected my first fic to get the reviews that it did. Thank you!

I hope to write some more fics soon but right now I am going to take some time to be on the other side and read some fics...

Thanks again! Let me know what you think about the whole story! And, let me know if u have any suggestions for other scrubs fics. I like to stick to this type thing, the angsty stuff... I can't guarantee I will use your suggestion but I like to know what you guys are looking for...

Thanks everyone!


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